dogs99999:

I don’t think I should ever have kids bc I was thinking about it… And kids always go to sleepover birthday parties and fuck with ouija boards and honestly? If I’m being honest? I’m fine. I don’t need kids

Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

habibichic:

when ur waiting on bae to tell u hwat

image

Thursday, September 18, 2014

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

 
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